My only reason is you
by Kiluka-chan
Summary: During the dodgeball game against Razor, Gon and Tsegzerra argue whether to let Killua continue to hold the ball for Gon or not. Meanwhile, Killua sinks into his thoughts about his and Gon's friendship. (Rated T for saftey.)


**A/N: Hello! This is my first fic! And I suck, so don't expect much. I want you all to know that I'm terrible at dialouge and grammar. **

**You have been warned! Also, I feel like my POV is confusing so to clear things up, it's Killua thinking about the past when he met Gon and some of his current thoughts about their friendship. Sorry that it's confusing! Also, I'm a complete noob. Feel free to chew me out and tell me it was horrible! It will help me learn! I don't want to ruin these beautiful characters! I also want you to know that I almost threw up from nerves. I'm still trying not to. So please try to enjoy (or just live through it)**

**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter does not belong to me. If it did then I wouldn't be so nervous would I?**

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My only reason is you.

Inside the massive indoor gym Razor and his band of pirates seemed to own, an intense showdown was underway. Killua stood to the side. Watching Gon argue with Tsegzerra about whether he was capable of holding the ball for another one of Gon's "Saishou wa guu" attacks. Truthfully, his hands hurt like hell. But he wasn't about to tell them that. He knew that Greed Island is important to Gon because his father made it. And he knew that Gon wasn't going to be accepting a half assed win against Razor. He also knew that once he made up his mind, there was no talking him out of it. Believe him; he has experienced it many a times.

While Gon and Tsegzerra were still going strong he decided to tune them out in order to collect his thoughts and control the waves of pain and nausea that were rolling over him. He looked up briefly and saw that look in Gon's eyes; the same look that was there when he came to take Killua away from his family.

He thought back to that day. He was so happy to see Gon, so happy that he thought he was dreaming. Surely Gon didn't come all this way just to see _him_. He was just an assassin who wanted to play in the light before the darkness that was the moons fate engulfed his very being. While he was the moon, Gon was the sun. Bright and happy. Smiling and cheerful. His complete opposite.

All the same, Killua loved him and hoped that he could stay in the light that was his friend for at least a little while longer. Gon saved him from the darkness that was slowly consuming his soul and darkening his heart and made him into someone who knew happiness and friendship. Friendship; something he thought he would never experience. Aniki always told him that he had no need for friends. That he was just a puppet of murder never meant to see the light.

But the light found him. It found him in the form of a spiky haired, hopelessly naïve, always smiling boy. Gon. His one friend. He knew Leorio and Kurapika considered them selves' friends of his, and he thought the same of them. Just, they're not the same as Gon. Gon gave him a reason.

Killua had no real goals in life. He had never put one single thought into what he would do if he passed the hunter exam. Ever since he was born he was trained to be an assassin. Torture and poisoning were part of everyday life. Not to mention the killing. When he gathered up enough courage to run away from that hell hole he calls home, he never once thought of what he would do with his life. So he took the hunter exam. He had heard it was tough and tested the applicants in many ways. Both physically and mentally. He thought he would give it a shot. Not like he had anything better to do.

And that was where it all started. The fateful day when the sun decided to look upon the moon. He had never met someone like Gon. He was cooped up on that mountain his entire life, never meeting people other than his targets and yet he knew that Gon was different. Pure. Not stained by the hardships of life. Full of life and joy, laughter and happiness.

Killua knew he wanted to know that boy. So he talked to him out of curiosity. He never thought that he would not only make his first friend, but also gain a reason for living through his bloodstained life.

He decided to help Gon look for his father, Ging. He would help look for leads and looked out for Gon at the same time. They travelled all over the world together looking for Ging. He himself had nothing to do, and he thought Gon deserved his help. After all, Gon saved him from himself.

He would exist for Gon. Gon needed him to help find his father, and Killua needed Gon for a reason to live. He didn't think he deserved Gon. The boy was too pure, too innocent. And he was too dark, too corrupted to have a friend as great as Gon.

He knew that one day; he would have to leave Gon. He was holding him back. Gon didn't need him anymore. He was just extra baggage that Gon has grown fond of. But Gon is his everything. His light, his reason to live and his friend. And he didn't want to leave that behind. But he knew that one day, he would. For Gon's sake.

"Killua? Is something wrong? You look really upset." Killua looked up at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Ah, no Gon! I'm fine!" He put on a cool facade. "Come on! One more time and we'll have Razor out!"

"Yeah! Come one Killua!" Gon sprinted away to ready his attack. "I'm glad I got around to Tsegzerra!"

Said man just grumbled and sulked from his spot on the sidelines.

"Ne, Killua! After we clear Greed Island we should have a party! To celebrate clearing the game! We could invite Kurapika and Leorio! Oh, and we could have it at Mito-sans place!"

Gon ran to his spot on the court and started his Hatsu technique. "Come on, Killua!" Gon beamed at him.

'_Yeah, Gon. I would do anything for you. After all, my only reason is you'_

The End

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**A/N: Did you live through it? Did you like it? Hate it? I took one look at it and almost passed out. (I know, dramatic) I'm sorry if anybody was traumatized. I tried my best! I want to thank my friend(?) (I don't know if you consider me a friend) Ria D'Arcy for the support. Ria was kind enough to promise me feedback on this fic. Thank you so much! ^^ Thank you people who dared to read this XD Review please! (or I'll never learn)**


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